Trump Says Supreme Court Nominee Will Be Woman, Person, Camera, or TV

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FAYETTEVILLE, N.C. (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump dropped a major hint about his upcoming Supreme Court pick by telling supporters that his nominee will be a woman, person, camera, or TV.

“I will choose a woman,” Trump roared at a rally in North Carolina, adding, “person, camera, TV.”

According to White House sources, Trump has already drawn up a short list of potential nominees, including Amy Coney Barrett, the Canon Sure Shot Z115, and the Samsung Q900TS QLED 8K UHD HDR Smart TV.

The uproar engulfing Trump’s plan to nominate a Supreme Court Justice before the election only grew louder with the revelation that he was considering an inanimate object for the job.

Senator Mitch McConnell, however, brushed off the controversy. “If the President nominates a camera or a TV, we’ll ram it through,” he said.

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